I can forgive but I can't forget my past.

I believe in KARMA, what goes around comes around. Shawn Lim Yen Ming,
fitness manager of Singapore True Fitness (greatworld city) may you rot in hell and suffer all alone!! This is the price to pay for walking out on me during my pregnancy, you jerk!! Whenever I think of my past, those recollections and reminiscenes always come flashing back. I met this bastard during my stay in Singapore. At first he seemed like a nice guy but after awhile he always expect me to pay or buy him gifts. My auntie knew that we were having unprotected sex and when she knew she told him to use condoms. He agreed to use condoms but he never use condoms. He sent me SMSes stating that if I were to get pregnant he would marry me but all these were just lies. When I finally found out that I was about 3 months pregnant, he told me to abort the innocent baby and he told me that he stopped loving me and that he didn't want to marry me. Well abortion never once crossed my mind as I truly believe that aborting the baby of someone you love is a big mistake. I made lotsa mistakes in my life, but I really want to give birth to my baby. She had a right to stay alive, but Shawn kept on asking me to abort her. When he finally realised that I won't abort the baby, he started cursing her and asking me to jump off the bldg etc... My friends told me to try talking to his mother and so I called her but his mom ended up scolding me as if I was the one at fault. I tried many methods to make him commit to me but he didn't want to. I wish I would just die but I've also had to accept the fact that I was pregnant. I felt it was one sided, I loved him and I've no regrets about that. When I was around 5 months pregnant I came back to Tokyo Japan- back to where I belong. He came to Changi Airport to bid me goodbye. He bought me some food and a Pooh bear. Before I went in, he hugged me from behind. I held back my tears as I was determined not to cry. I wish he could ask me to stay. The hardest part was letting go. As soon as I went in, I missed him dreadfully but love made me a coward. I wrote him many letters after I came back to Japan and I cried myself to sleep every night. I was hoping that he could come over to witness the birth of our baby he simply told me that it was impossible. I gave birth to Shawn's daughter on Oct 16, 2006 via C-section. Charlene aka Miyuki is a beautiful child. Anyone would like her at first sight. Anyone except her biological father, Shawn Lim Yen Ming, fitness manager of Singapore True Fitness (Greatworld City). Even though I'm loving my current life 'cause I'm looking forward to marrying my current bf. We're happy together but I couldn't forget whatever happened in Singapore. I can forgive but I can't forget. It's sad to hold on to history, I wish that I can forget my past. God help me please! How can I get my past to stop haunting me? He cheated on me during my pregnancy and he always bitch about me, lying to ppl around him saying that I'm a bad girl, karma will surely bites him hard!! And he never pay for child support! I just want him to know that what goes around comes around.